Dubya Cancels Meeting with the Professor

Professor Misses Prime Opportunity for a Royal Whizzing

The plane in question

DARK CANYON, UT—In a move that shocked many, George W. Bush left Professor Bikey Bike along with several key aids high and dry at a meeting place proposed by Bush himself. The meeting was to take place on Airstrip 6795 near Dark Canyon, UT last March. It has only now been discovered that Dubya, as he is cutely named, didn't show. The failed meeting was to be held in order to discuss the wholesale drilling of a pristine environment.

The Professor, who has been a long time advocate of drilling for oil in wilderness (or so he convinced Dubya), abruptly changed his position when Bush failed to show. In a press release written on a napkin with vegan nacho cheese sauce, the Professor has been quoted as saying, "Hell, if Dubya can't even spare the time to land good ol' Betsy (Dubya's nickname for Air Force One) on this danged landing strip where we's camped [profanity] like a decent [profanity] then I am no longer going to sponsor the rape of [profanity] mother [profanity] earth..." and then trailed off into illegibility. We here at PBBBS have gathered from the Professor's ravings that, in fact, the meeting was a trick to "...lure Dubya out into the wilderness, thinking he was going to be touring a future sight of desecration..." once there, the Professor planned to "...give him a royal whizzing on the old loafers, as [he] once did to papa Bush in World War II..."

While no press was present at the scheduled meeting place, we are assured by sources close to the Professor that, "...it was the perfect spot for a whizzing ambush." The White House still won't return our calls, but another inside source, this one from a restaurant located in Washington DC, assures us that Bush's failure to show was "...intentional..." but that Bush himself being "...dumber than this here piece of toast..." could not have planned the deed himself.

Little else is known of either the president (he canceled all press conferences when he heard he would have to talk) or the Professor, but be assured that in this fast breaking drama, PBBBS News Corps will keep you posted.